CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
