Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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