you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
barbara walters just said penis...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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