You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let's get the cat blown out
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
