How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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