Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
