My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
