i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
