"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
