Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
