I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
