hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
