At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
