if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
