I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
