Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
