I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
