Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
