tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
