3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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