I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
