I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
