Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
