Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
