I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
