I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
