I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
