He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize