i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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