he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
