It's like a parade of train wrecks.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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