I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
