I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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