He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
