I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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