So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
