I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
