Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
