So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
