Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
