i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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