I just pynch a tree in the face
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
