...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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