he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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