i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
