i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I think my moral compass just broke
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