i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
