also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
