did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
