You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
