Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
