Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
