I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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